quinta-feira, novembro 22, 2007

Inquérito por Questionário (técnica de pesquisa não Documental)

O LD resolveu sair a rua, agora que finalmente já chove...para saber o estado de saúde dos portugueses. Resultados a vista, ora veja (isto se nao for vesga)!

Q1: Sofre de alguma destas patologias?
a. ejaculações mentais;
b.fulminaçoes ventrílocas;
c.volvos hormonais;
d.apertos bílicos;
e.sopros intestinais;
f.todas elas.

O estudo de campo revelou que...:
1% das pessoas afirma desconhecer a referida espécie de patos (patologias);
4% das pessoas apresentava fulminaçoes ventrílocas (mas não no ventríloco, mesmo no ventre);
10% sentia apertos no peito, e desconhecia ter bílis;
45% das pessoas ficaram enrascadas com a alinea e. afirmando que de sopro, só mesmo instrumentos: flauta de bisel e ques e com muito orgulho ferrenho (flauta antiga de ferro, pensamos que assim o seja, cá pros nossos botões!);
20% dos inquiridos afirmavam ter todas estas doenças;
os restantes 20% queixaram-se do nro reduzido de alineas da questao, por considerarem ter todas elas e mais algumas. Todos eles gordos, dai a designçao por hipocondriacos.
Houve ainda unanimidade quanto a alínea a. Todos reviraram os olhos...até os mais estrábicos...

Q2: quantos medicamentos toma por dia?
a.nao sei ler as indicações;
b.um, com copo d'agua;
c.apenas supositórios;
d.mais da dúzia;
e.consoante chova ou não;
f. as filas poem.me doida.

Então...

15 % dos inquiridos revelou que ao nao saber juntar palavras (=ler) prefere nem os tomar, não vá o diabo tecê-las. Dessa mesma percentagem constam pessoas com problemas audiovisuais que defendem medicamentos em braile;
5% das pessoas afirma que um apenas as satisfaz, mas sempre com a água del cano que com a ferrugem o ajuda a ir pa baixo;
20% dos analisados confessa que supositórios toma, mas sao trabalhosos, pq torna-se necessario uma navalha (nao 'tamos a falar de peixe), pois inteiro, nao entra na goela;
40% das pessoas questionadas, afirma tomar mais de uma dúzia, antes de perguntar a quantos comprimidos isso equivale;
10% diz variar pela chuva e pelo sol. No Verao menos porque muitos deles derretem...
10% desiste mesmo da compra quando sente a pressao das filas e das massas ( e atenção nao tamos a falar de notas, que nem sao tao poucas quanto isso).

Aos que demonstraram, ter determinadas patologias e/ou complicaçoes, procedemos a outra questão:

O que espera de futuro?
a.viver;
b.morrer;
c.sobreviver;
d.voltar pa ilha;
e.fazer o testamento;
f.que o Mundo acabe.

A última pergunta teve respostas caricatas... Ora veja...a caricatura da coisa!

50% das pessoas afirma que de futuro espera viver e/ou morrer. Surpreendente!
25% afirma que sobreviver dá um ar mais fixolaz à coisa. É algo que ainda está acima do viver...sobreviver (e nao subviver).
5% disse que espera voltar pa ilha ou pa terra delas, pq lá é que está o bom! resta saber adonde...
10% diz que fazer o testamento, está a ser o maior teste a sua mente!
10% espera que o Mundo acabe. 2% referiu como causa: o cimento global (esquecendo-se do aque). Outros falaram da peste branca, e da explosão preta (da Europa). Ainda a salientar a revolta de um indivíduo contra o vocábulo abecedário, que espera mudar de futuro, pela descriminaçao feita a 19 letras do coiso (nem quis repetir o nome. pois é: A B C D ..+ ÁRIO. a culpa segundo o mesmo era do portugues ordinario.
Outra alma do diabo, refere a biblia como previsao da realidade. Profetizando o fim do mundo em 3000 (mudança do milénio- nao do banco..bcp), ja que em dois mil fomos roubados.


E como está a saúde dos portugueses, quer você saber...

olha...VAI-SE ANDANDO (uns dias melhor outros pior!)



Apoios: Farmácia Aurélia Sanguessuga, av. dos acamados e afins nº 1111, baixo da cova + Cruz Encarnada (contra o comunismo: vermelho ...cruz credo!) + médico Poleão Maudaspartes.

Nº de individuos constituintes da amostra: 3001 gatos pingados (um deles o doutor).

54 Calhaus Arreados:

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